My weakness.....

I used to be Us Weekly obsessed. I would eagerly wait my fix of celebrity gossip and mind-numbing articles, drinking in the tasty tidbits of information: Guess the Baby Bump! Is Brad Cheating? Lindsay's Crazy Birthday Bash! And then my obsession faded. I think it was when I saw the pictures of Reese Witherspoon trying to shield her children from the paparazzi, and I realized that by buying the magazine I was supporting this behavior - the stalking of celebrities as prey. (I also realized that $5 a week was a bit of an expensive habit when I could feed for free on Perez Hilton and TMZ; however, I thought the ethical piece sounded better)

One habit I have yet to break is the guilty pleasure of buying the latest copy of Us when I go on holidays. So what did I learn this issue?

1. Tattoos are getting passe- smokin' hot girl, great dress, fantastic shoes.....crap-tacular tattoo on top of foot - some sand script piece. Wrecked the entire look.

2. Melanie Trump, Don's much younger wife who is 39 years old (I had to look this up on her own website - now that's scary!) is looking very pinched and pulled-back in the face. WTF? I am 36.....am I going to have to start looking into get some "work" done soon? Damn it, that 20 year reunion is looming......

3. What makes a celebrity a celebrity? There was a full page on a jilted Bachelor contestant finding true love, after the fact, with some on-again off-again beau. And now they're engaged! the article included some sneak peeks of their registry - including some fugly wall art from Crackle Barrel for $40.

4. A very unflattering picture of Katherine Heigl (left side) that accompanied an article about stars who quit smoking. Seems like the message is more like don't quit.

5. "Octomom lost 115 pounds" - yea, she had 8 babies to start. The weight was also estimated by some random doctor who has never met said Octomom - that's journalism. And Octomom has a rep...of course she does.

6. Jon Gosselin looking like an aged past-prime divorced man hanging pool-side with young bikini-clad girls - it looks like a bad edition of MTV's Spring Break.

7. Poor K-Fed. Very unflattering picture of him at the pool with his kids. I would estimate that K-Fed has gained maybe 60 pounds since his break-up with Brit Brit. Of course, the article includes a very flattering 2006 photo when K was slim, trim and somewhat attractive (not my idea of gorgeous). Its nice to know that men also get the full meal deal treatment when it comes to obvious weight gain - I will now wait for the manorexic article.

8. Aubrey Day (who?) with her poor dyed pooch - okay, that's just wrong. Aubrey wants us all to know that, "its natural and she doesn't mind!" Hmmmmmmmm, that's so sweet that you talk to your dog and she told you! I will not even Google to find out who she is......as I just don't care.

Hmmmmmm, until the next holiday break......