Monday, June 29, 2009

Things I saw today...

On my way to work
A dead deer by the side of the busy urban street. It was surreal as I saw hooves lying by the sidewalk. I wanted to cover the poor animal up -, sadly, however, I don't tend to pack an extra tarp with me. Poor thing....I guess he was trying to get to the drug store that was across the street, for reasons unknown.

At lunch
Walking to work from the drug store (the same one the deer didn't make to), I saw what, I thought, was a young couple in a death-like embrace. I was wearing my i-pod, listening to Miley Cyrus "See You Again" (don't ask - and don't judge!), and was intrigued by the passionate grappling that was taking place. Then I noticed that the young couple was actually older than I first in their mid-40s; and I am pretty sure they were junkies. Suddenly that intriguing moment was not so intriguing as I realized they were probably fighting over who took the last hit and where were they getting their next....and then they crossed the busy highway towards me, like aimless deers - and I saw a repeat of my morning. I just scuttled by with my library books, listening to Miley and trying not to draw attention to myself.

On the way home
I was on the bus, reading my book and unwinding when I suddenly smelt beer. Great, I thought, some old drunk is behind me. I pulled the cord for my stop; and a few seconds later, the drunk was yanking away, trying to figure out why the cord wasn't working. The person got up to tell the driver - the drunk turned out to be a young woman (maybe 19) in the shortest shorts (we're talking a glimpse of cheeks) with the biggest white Playboy bunny purse - she was the defination of a white hot mess. As she giggled her way off the bus, the driver commented that he like how she smelt. Hee hee, she twittered, its Budweiser! Hmmmmm, the driver said, Bud with a splash of sunshine - you smell good. I kid you not - this is the exchange I overheard. I hurried off the bus before I hurled.

Seriously? She's a silly little girl, drunk at 5pm, wearing denim underpants - that is hot? Okay, it probably is; but really, after the day I had, what I saw.....I needed to drink something in the sun and fry my brain. Yup, it was one of those days.....

Thursday, June 25, 2009

I wonder.....

I wonder if Farrah is really pissed at Michael for eclipsing her today? When she passed away at 9am, all the shows were set to open with her: ET, Larry King. People magazine was buzzing away with the tribute with her on the cover.

Then the King of Pop dies at 2pm and everything has to be changed. Its all about Michael.....retrospects, shocked "friends" giving statements, speculations, observations. On and on and on....

Maybe Farrah is smiling and is glad to have the spotlight swung away.

The death of icons

Within a matter of days, Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson have all died. Ed was no surprise, as he was old (strange to say, but true really). Farrah's death was a blessing as she had been so sick. MJ was shocking - some may compare it to Elvis's - icon in 50s, maybe drug related....

So why do I care? I didn't know these people....and yet I did. My childhood memories involve all 3 in one capacity or another. I read a status of a 18 year old who suggested people to get over it; another 15 year old questioned why anyone cared about the death of a let me explain.

Ed McMahon

I remember him sitting on the couch with Johnny, laughing away at some joke I didn't get.

I remember him on Bloopers with Dick Clark.

I remember the Publisher's Clearance House Sweepstakes ads - "look for the envelope with my face on it!"

I remember Ed always being on the tv, like a grandfather; however, I always imagined he could have a dark side - like the camera would shut off, and Ed would be quite vulgar and crass.

Farrah Fawcett

I remember watching Charlie's Angels with my sister; and we never chose to be Farrah's character as she just seemed out of our league....even at a young age, we knew that Farrah was something amazing.

I remember the infamous poster. I don't know if I knew anyone who had it on his walls....but I remember the poster.

I remember her with Ryan O'Neal and wonder why? She seemed so beautiful and he seemed so ....not beautiful.

I remember her on David Letterman and knew why she was with Ryan.

I remember her being a kooky has-been who was once considered the most beautiful woman in the world.

Michael Jackson

I remember being given 3 albums for Christmas in 1983 when I was 11 -Culture Club, Colour by Numbers, Bryan Adams, Cuts Like a Knife, and Michael Jackson, Thriller. Those albums were influential and my introduction into pop culture. That is when I started to watch "Good Rockin' Tonight", Much Music, and music videos.

I remember being in grade six and watching a couple of classmates go hysterical he showed up on What's New; and I remember my teacher being completely disgusted by this.

I remember the single glove and the vinyl-red jacket; and I remember the jacket showing up in red or black at Kmart.

I remember laughing when Weird Al did "Eat It".

I remember being mesmerized by "Black or White".

I remember being horrified by the physical transformation over time, wondering, what the hell?

I remember hearing about "Neverland", wondering, what the hell?

I remember hearing the allegations, marriage to Lisa Maria, the children, wondering, seriously, WHAT THE HELL?

I remember feeling very sorry for the man-child who had, in my mind, everything and yet had nothing.

I remember thinking that he had been used by so many.

So why do I care? Because I remember all this as I was growing up, becoming an adult, and its part of my fabric. I can understand why someone at 18, 15, would not get let me bring it down to their level. This week is like having Ryan Seacrest, Miley Cryus and all three Jonas Brothers all passing away within two days.....shocking and hard to imagine, right?

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

One last thing.....

Jon and Kate should do the decent thing and have their show canceled.....but since when has it been about decency?

Monday, June 22, 2009

I am so naive

I am watching If These Walls Could Talk 2, which focuses on lesbian relationships in 3 eras-1960s, 1970s and the 1990s. The first era starred Vanessa Redgrave as Edie, whose long-time partner, Abbey, just passed away, and no one recognizes the two women as being nothing more than room mates and good friends. The hospital staff will not let her see her partner before she passes as she is not the "next of kin". Abby's family just want Edie to take a memento and vacate so that they can sell the house and all its content. And throughout this, Edie has a quiet dignity as she mourns her lover, partner, soul mate.

What I don't get it why, even now, we as a society get caught up on whose loving who. I think we have come forward a bit - however, why is gay marriage not legal? Why can't same-sex couples adopt? Why do they not have the same rights as heterosexual couples? Love is a precious beautiful thing; and if you find it, you are fortunate......

Death does not discriminate - it doesn't matter if Jane is with Harry or Sally, Jane will still die of a massive heart attack; however, Harry will get her life insurance, Sally won't. What if Harry was an absolute douche and Sally was the love of her life? I am so naive......

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Sarah Palin is a cracker jack (and other things)

Just when you thought it was safe to watch television, listen to the radio, or read the newspaper, Sarah decides she needs to some more attention. She heard that David Letterman made inappropriate jokes about her family (oh, where does one begin? And stop?) I saw the joke in
question - it was in reference to her now-18 year old daughter who had a child 6 months ago. He joked that Sarah's daughter was knocked up" by New York Yankees star Alex Rodriguez during a ball game. Was it funny? Not really. Was it in poor taste? Not really, but that's my sense of humour.

The next day, Sarah and her husband each release separate statements condemning Letterman for his inappropriate joke; however, they skewered the story so that it appeared that Letterman was joking about their precious virginal 14 year old daughter.

Todd stated, "any jokes about raping my 14-year-old daughter are despicable." I totally agree...if it was about your 14-year-old daughter. Wait, I must have missed the rape reference in the joke......strange.

To continue the momentum, Sarah chimed in with, "'Laughter incited by sexually-perverted comments made by a 62-year-old male celebrity aimed at a 14-year-old girl is not only disgusting, but it reminds us some Hollywood/NY entertainers have a long way to go in understanding what the rest of America understands -- that acceptance of inappropriate sexual comments about an underage girl, who could be any one's daughter, contributes to the atrociously high rate of sexual exploitation of minors by older men who use and abuse others.'" One can feel their blood pressure rise as the villagers light their torches to hunt down the monster.

Wow! Have we all forgotten about precious Bristol (which sounds like a cheap cream liquor) is a teenage unwed mother to a Republican bible-thumping, gun-carrying mother? That is where the humour lies. Sarah, however, decides to twist words and make Letterman look like a lecherous perverted man capable of molesting not just her child but YOUR child as well.....and that is just messed up. Remove the smoke and mirrors, and at the end of the day you have a very sad woman who needs to read a few passages in her Good Book to be reminded about truth and compassion to others. Something about "do unto others".....remember that one?

Fear mongering is on the rise. Smear campaigns are popular. It gets you back in the media and you are America's darling, surrounded by the popping glow of fame - but at whose expense? I know the truth; however, for every person who knows the truth, 9 people won't by choice or ignorance- and that is dangerous.

I am an advocate for freedom of speech; however, you must be smarter than a 5th grader. Ooops, Sarah, guess you're please go away and shut the door behind you.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Why I may not attend my 20th high school reunion....

With less than a year to go, I am debating if I will attend my 20th high school reunion-which is ironic as I left my 10th reunion utterly convinced that I would be back in 10 years, hell or high water. So what's changed?

Here are my top 10 reasons why I may not attend:

10. I was very drunk at the 10 year reunion
Sadly, I look at the pictures from the last reunion; and I look like I am having a fantastic time - those around me, not so much (there is terror in some eyes)

9. Facebook
I have connected with pretty much everyone I would want to see.....and some I wouldn't want to, so the mystery is not really there anymore. Not really.

8. I didn't write a bestselling novel
Enough said

7. I didn't not write a screenplay based on my novel

6. I didn't win an Academy Award and, during my acceptance speech, out every asshole I went to high school with to shame them for their behavior (but I'm not bitter)

5. I wasn't on Oprah and unable to talk about the greatness of me despite my horrible childhood, which included an assortment of assholes (as mentioned in my AA speech)

4. I played therapist at my last reunion
For some unknown reason, in my drunken state, I decided to ask people if they were didn't go over well

3. I have no where to stay
This might not be true; however, it could play in my decision as my parents don't live there anymore and I refuse to pay to stay in a hotel room

2. I may not be invited
Seriously, I really made an impression at my 10 year....and it wasn't necessarily good

1. I am too immature
I saw pictures posted of the '89 reunion; and I was ecstatic to see certain people had gained quite a bit of weight and looked like crap - and that is so not the spirit of a reunion, right? To empower oneself through the shortfalls of your peers? No, that's what high school was for.....

Will I go? At this point, I don't know. If I do, I may have to explain my past behavior to a drinking problem that put me into rehab.....or I will have to think of a new question to randomly ask, such as "Yea, but is this the life you thought you would have?" Hmmmmmm, I have just under a year to work on that.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Does it matter?

Why do we care so much about another person's sexuality? On 20/20, one of the segments is on an American Idol finalist being gay - and? The segment started with how there is great debate going on in Amercia: is he or isn't he GAY? What's his sexual identity? My question is - why do we care?

Straight. Gay. Hetero. Homo. Bi-sexual. Bi-curious. Why do we have to have these labels? Why do I need to know that Tom Cruise is definitely a heterosexual? Would he be less convincing in his role as "Maverick" if I knew that he was gay in real life?

But there is a stress to define one's sexuality or that person is shrouded in speculation, poked and prodded by the media until they are forced to come out. Hmmmmm, Kevin Spacey is never seen with a woman AND he loves acting in the theatre -gay? Edie Falco adopted a child on her own - lesbian? Who cares! When I watch someone act, or hear someone sing, I appreciate (or hate) their talent, not what (or who) they are doing in the bedroom.

Am I curious to know if a major Hollywood star is gay? Yea, I admit it, I am. Does this make me a hypocrite? I will ponder this as I cruise through Perez's site to see who he is speculating about today *wink*

Baby, it doesn't matter at the end of the day.....I will love you just the same

Saturday, June 6, 2009

The invasion of the cell phone

I would say it was a generational thing, the invasion of the cell phone; however, I beg to differ. I see all walks of life, all ages, yakking away on the cell phone whenever, whatever. On the bus, walking down the street, in cars and shops. I was making my way through Costco today, participating in the weekly pilgrimage to the mecca store; and I swear there was a rash of calls made in Costco while I was there. The emergencies included what type of chips to buy for a family get-together (Well I know most people like sour cream and onion, but you know how Uncle Earl is!), did someone need a pair of shorts (No, they're super cute! Not too long, not too short, and they come in 3 colours. Should I get you a pair?) to when someone was expected home (I don't know what time we'll be home - we have to finish our shopping and get some gas...). I saw older grandmothers on their cellphones, men, etc - it was like an epidemic.

When did we start making phone calls while we shop? When did it become a necessity? It reminds me of how there are certain styles that really suit slim people; however, companies now make the style in all size. One must pause and think, just because they make it in that size, doesn't mean you should wear it. Just because you can make a phone call while you shop, doesn't mean you have to make it. Convenience is great; however, don't overdo it.

It should be noted that I so rarely used my cellphone that I couldn't even give the number to Virgin Mobile when I called to cancel it after the phone was stolen......I just don't get the addiction. Again, I would say its a generation thing; however, the 86 year old woman describing the variety of chips available at Costco would beg to differ

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

The Waiting Place

Dr. Seuss wrote a great book years ago called "The Places You'll Go". It gained popularity a few years ago as the book to give a graduate - be it from high school, university, beauty school, etc. In it, he describes The Waiting Place:

..for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go.
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or No
or waiting for their hair to grow.

"Everyone is just waiting."

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

(Dr. Seuss, The Places You'll Go)

I kind of feel like I've ended up there without realizing I had made the turn. The question is, what am I waiting for? Here is what I have realized about myself as I wait: I embrace change, love it,crave it - bring it on! I hate waiting. Can't stand it. Have no patience. Want to get on with it - now!

So, I sit in The Waiting Place, just waiting....

Monday, June 1, 2009

Summer television sucks

Tonight's stellar offering?

I'm a Celebrity - Get Me Out of Here!

First of all, define celebrity.....

Wikipdia defines celebrity as, " widely-recognized or notable person who commands a high degree of public and media attention....There are degrees of celebrity status which vary based on an individual's region or field of notoriety. While someone might be a celebrity to some people, to others he may be completely unknown..." and this really could be the entire assemble of "I'm a Celebrity"....a mix of has-been, wanna-bes, and never-heard-ofs - yes, its the whose who of the F-list! Lets begin the roster in no particular order.....

Janice Dickinson
Why? No, wait, I know why - Tyra kicked her out 7 seasons ago on ANTM, and Janice has been trying to find her groove ever since. Warning to elderly super models - HDtv is NOT your friend. I thought poor Janice's face was melting....sadly, it was not.

John Salley
Who? Oh, he played for the NBA - hence why I've never heard of him.

Stephen Baldwin
He did threaten he would leave the States if Obama was elected.....sadly, he is no Alec.

Torrie Wilson
Who? Oh, former "professional" wrestler - and token blond with fake breast.

Sanjaya Malakar
Um, do we need to give him anymore encouragement? Why must the annoying be rewarded with more attention? This will send children the wrong message.

Who? And there's two! Aw, they're best friends! However, that is not their claim to fame - oh no! They appeared on Oprah where they were dubbed "America's funniest people" - this taken directly from the official "Celebrity" website; therefore, it must be true!

Heidi and Spencer
I cannot justify giving these two reality whores their own individual mention. It is disgusting to know that, together, they have made 3 million dollars with their "sparkling" personalities while people are struggling to make end meets. I blame the fall of the U.S. economy on their fake Mexican wedding -but I am sure Speidi are the nicest, most genuine folks EVER!

Patti Blagojevich
Who? No, seriously - who? Wife of former Illinois Governor, ohhhhhhh. And that's worthy enough to be on a reality show about celebrities? Good to know.

And finally.....

Lou Diamond Phillips
Wow....from "La Bamba" and "Young Guns" to sharing an outdoor latrine with Sanjaya - this is hitting rock bottom. What great career move can come of this? Perhaps Speidi needs a new pool boy?

Sweet Jesus, when is "Lost" coming back? Even reruns will sufice....