Summer television sucks

Tonight's stellar offering?

I'm a Celebrity - Get Me Out of Here!

First of all, define celebrity.....

Wikipdia defines celebrity as, " widely-recognized or notable person who commands a high degree of public and media attention....There are degrees of celebrity status which vary based on an individual's region or field of notoriety. While someone might be a celebrity to some people, to others he may be completely unknown..." and this really could be the entire assemble of "I'm a Celebrity"....a mix of has-been, wanna-bes, and never-heard-ofs - yes, its the whose who of the F-list! Lets begin the roster in no particular order.....

Janice Dickinson
Why? No, wait, I know why - Tyra kicked her out 7 seasons ago on ANTM, and Janice has been trying to find her groove ever since. Warning to elderly super models - HDtv is NOT your friend. I thought poor Janice's face was melting....sadly, it was not.

John Salley
Who? Oh, he played for the NBA - hence why I've never heard of him.

Stephen Baldwin
He did threaten he would leave the States if Obama was elected.....sadly, he is no Alec.

Torrie Wilson
Who? Oh, former "professional" wrestler - and token blond with fake breast.

Sanjaya Malakar
Um, do we need to give him anymore encouragement? Why must the annoying be rewarded with more attention? This will send children the wrong message.

Frangela
Who? And there's two! Aw, they're best friends! However, that is not their claim to fame - oh no! They appeared on Oprah where they were dubbed "America's funniest people" - this taken directly from the official "Celebrity" website; therefore, it must be true!

Heidi and Spencer
I cannot justify giving these two reality whores their own individual mention. It is disgusting to know that, together, they have made 3 million dollars with their "sparkling" personalities while people are struggling to make end meets. I blame the fall of the U.S. economy on their fake Mexican wedding -but I am sure Speidi are the nicest, most genuine folks EVER!

Patti Blagojevich
Who? No, seriously - who? Wife of former Illinois Governor, ohhhhhhh. And that's worthy enough to be on a reality show about celebrities? Good to know.

And finally.....

Lou Diamond Phillips
Wow....from "La Bamba" and "Young Guns" to sharing an outdoor latrine with Sanjaya - this is hitting rock bottom. What great career move can come of this? Perhaps Speidi needs a new pool boy?

Sweet Jesus, when is "Lost" coming back? Even reruns will sufice....