Sunday, June 14, 2009

Why I may not attend my 20th high school reunion....

With less than a year to go, I am debating if I will attend my 20th high school reunion-which is ironic as I left my 10th reunion utterly convinced that I would be back in 10 years, hell or high water. So what's changed?


Here are my top 10 reasons why I may not attend:


10. I was very drunk at the 10 year reunion
Sadly, I look at the pictures from the last reunion; and I look like I am having a fantastic time - those around me, not so much (there is terror in some eyes)

9. Facebook
I have connected with pretty much everyone I would want to see.....and some I wouldn't want to, so the mystery is not really there anymore. Not really.

8. I didn't write a bestselling novel
Enough said

7. I didn't not write a screenplay based on my novel
Ditto

6. I didn't win an Academy Award and, during my acceptance speech, out every asshole I went to high school with to shame them for their behavior (but I'm not bitter)

5. I wasn't on Oprah and unable to talk about the greatness of me despite my horrible childhood, which included an assortment of assholes (as mentioned in my AA speech)

4. I played therapist at my last reunion
For some unknown reason, in my drunken state, I decided to ask people if they were happy....it didn't go over well

3. I have no where to stay
This might not be true; however, it could play in my decision as my parents don't live there anymore and I refuse to pay to stay in a hotel room

2. I may not be invited
Seriously, I really made an impression at my 10 year....and it wasn't necessarily good

1. I am too immature
I saw pictures posted of the '89 reunion; and I was ecstatic to see certain people had gained quite a bit of weight and looked like crap - and that is so not the spirit of a reunion, right? To empower oneself through the shortfalls of your peers? No, that's what high school was for.....

Will I go? At this point, I don't know. If I do, I may have to explain my past behavior to a drinking problem that put me into rehab.....or I will have to think of a new question to randomly ask, such as "Yea, but is this the life you thought you would have?" Hmmmmmm, I have just under a year to work on that.








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